One concern to me is that he may eventually need to know his medical history that I cannot provide. Also, he is becoming more inquisitive regarding family ancestry, and I try to avoid such conversations.

His mother does not want to discuss any of this with me, but I am open to having both of us discuss this with him in the future if she is willing. I have taken the stance that it is up to her to tell him, but she hasn’t since we uncovered this information almost five years ago.

Is there anything I should do, or should I just wait on her? She may be planning to take the truth to her grave to avoid embarrassment.

Is any action on my part required? Your suggestion?

DETERMINED DAD

A. You should not avoid discussing family ancestry with your son. He is a member of the family and — DNA aside — your family ancestry is also his.

He also has the right to learn the truth about his DNA. This is important information, for obvious reasons. And — even though learning this news would undoubtedly lead to challenges for everyone in the family — it is the truth. It is his truth, and he has the right to it.

Given the ubiquity of DNA testing, your son is likely to discover this on his own at some point. His mother’s issue notwithstanding, imagine how he would feel knowing that you have been in possession of this knowledge for years and have…