Her response to him was overly polite: “I’m flattered, but I’m busy. Perhaps some other time.”

I made a note of his phone number and a few weeks later sent him a terse message (I’m fluent in his language), that he was rude, unmannerly, interested only in a sexual encounter with my wife, and to back off.

He did not answer my message; instead he forwarded it to my wife, who got angry and said that I embarrassed her and violated her privacy.

I told her that while I may have ruined her other man fantasy, someone had to put him in his place, and I was proud to do it.

My wife is a very attractive woman. I am aware of the attention she receives. To me, however, that man went way over the top.

Did I do the right thing, or was I being meddlesome?

JUST WONDERING

A. Your wife shared this man’s text message and her reply, which you describe as “overly polite.”

I interpret her message differently. In its ambiguity, “Perhaps some other time” can be read as something of an invitation. The politeness she extended was to this acquaintance, but not necessarily to you.

In response, you stewed about this for weeks and then acted out in anger toward both of them.

You were trying to protect your marriage by being direct, but your wife is the one who should have drawn a firm boundary around your marriage. You could have asked her to make a more definitive statement, rather than doing it yourself.

She was honest with you regarding how your behavior made her feel.

At this point, without discussing his behavior or hers, you should talk to her sincerely about how this has made you feel: “This text exchange made me very sad and angry. I’m worried about our relationship, and I’m trying to protect it.”

Q. You recently wrote: “I have mentioned this many times (especially lately), but the ubiquity of DNA testing is basically coming for everyone. Each of us should try to anticipate the possibility of being contacted by DNA relatives.”

Our situation is that an uncle who was an ob-gyn donated sperm to a bank many times throughout his career. (He’s 94 now.)

Children that were conceived from his generosity and kindness are NOT our relatives! They are members of the family that raised them!

This seeking out of bio parents, in many instances, is an invasion of privacy and totally disrespects the love, sacrifice, and support of the…